I wanted to hear what was boiling inside you long before we met it was a cold night but that doesn’t matter now I had images of seascapes and the darkest skies taped up in my mind of the stories you tell me and those you tell yourself what’s real is the absence and the great forgetting there is no undoing smog sits heavy eighteen hours east I wish I’d been on that plane I wish I’d gone blind that day got caught up in the newest wave and I drank each word the the greatest pleasure and they’re still in me even now We saw the moon through the buildings scraping upward in the palm of a hallucination you smiled and I was wrong to see it I don’t know who you are blood and eyes and bone and intentions unknown When I woke up I was miles away I walked back anyway and I never relate people are dying all around me and I’ve just got this small heart pain I wish I’d been on that plane there’s no more pull and I feel gunshots in my head like benign firecrackers just let go before it gets dangerous We looked up at the clouded universe barely touching I’d have stayed if it was real I wish I’d gone blind that day